Mozo's Moans - Except This Time I'm a Moaning Mozo

• I have some things I would like to get off my chest:
  
  I’m in a list-y sort of mood so I’m going to write down all the things that are wrong with me. Why do this, you ask? Well, when I was growing up, I firmly believed that I was absolutely perfect. There wasn’t a damn thing wrong with me! Life was good this way. However, after falling down the stairs – tasting my foot in my mouth more times that I can count – or suffering the occasional bad hair-day – I realize that I’m slightly less than perfect.
  
  So here is somewhat comprehensive list of Mozo’s flaws:
  
  I have impulse control. I have little self-control and say or do things that later cause me to go… OOOPS!
  
  I’m a moody little minx.
  
  I don’t call people back when I really should.
  
  Sometimes I don’t’ wash my face or brush my teeth before I go to bed.
  
  My feet sweat – excessively. This in turn, causes them to smell – excessively.
  
  I often forget to use my “inside-voice.”
  
  I don’t take out the garbage or check the mail as often as I should. And sometimes, I don’t even open my mail. I hate all mail.
  
  I am kind of messy and disorganized.
  
  I sometimes leave things to the last minute.
  
  I don’t really know why I feel like listing my flaws… physically I don’t think I have too many. Perhaps I should list conceited as a flaw?
  
  
  

A Hodge Podge of Items

• Ok Ok Ok... I spoke too soon. I'm back on the dating wheel and I owe this dude $5 since I bet him that I wouldn't go on a date again for a month. I was wrong. But, I take it back. I'm not wrong. I just changed my mind - and as many of you know - this is a woman's prerogative.

• Did you know, that when I pass someone in the morning on the subway - I can usually smell from a relative distance whether or not they have eaten garlic the night before? It's very gross and I plan on staying very far away from people tomorrow morning to avoid being diagnosed with the same issue.

• My boss winked at me today. I either smell a raise - or trouble.

• My blogging has been sporadic at best of late. I'm hoping to get back into the swing and start posting more again. Feel free to harrass me if you feel I'm slacking.

• I need a roommate. Anyone looking for a place to live? Brooklyn - $950. Kick shouts!

• I finally have money. Which is weird b/c since I moved to NYC, I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I finally have money now, and I find it odd. I don't want to spend it. I think I want to just stuff it in my mattress or look at it. Kind of like a piece of art or something...

• You know what is a giant turnoff - fat necks. They are disturbing. Nobody wants to be a neck-head. That makes you wonder - where does your neck begin and your head end? And what about pencil necks? Where do they fall into this spectrum? Nobody seems to give much thought to NECKS. I think NECKS are the new NOSES.

• So, if I AM bi-polar/Manic/Depressive. Then I'm basically manic 95% of the time and depressed for 5%... This means I almost never sleep or get grumpy. But when I do - it's like the world is going to end. Anyone that knows me will verify this.

• Spring seems to have arrived to NYC. It was almost 70 degrees today. Let's hear it for global warming.

• My cat Kobe got into a bag of chips today. But then the bag stayed on his head and he was walking around with a bag of chips over his head b/c he was too retarted to get it off. I enjoyed calling his name from afar and watching him try to follow the sound of my voice with a bag of Tostitos covering the entire front portion of his body. Is this animal abuse?

• Are taxes really due in like 2 weeks? I hate that the government makes us do this. It's like, homework.

• Did I mention I have a date on Friday? He's taking me to an Australian restaurant. I wonder if he's really just taking me to Outback Steakhouse. He mentioned something about strawberrry sangria. Once again, I smell trouble.

Worst Week Ever

So, as of today, I am officially stepping off the spinnning wheel. Yep folks! You heard it here first - it's the second hottest story of the weekend. Mozo is OFFICIALLY removing herself from the dating scene. I'm done. I've had it up to my elbows with inconsistent assholes not calling or following through. I'm through with all of it.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say something to all the inconsiderate, inconsistent shit-bags that never called, stood me up, lied to me, etc:

Hey guys! Go f**k yourselves! I hope you catch a nasty case of herpes, syphillis, or crabs.

Ahhh... that feels just a little better.

Houston: We Have A Problem...

My life has taken an awful turn for the strange and even more strange. Ah... where to begin. My previous shrink told me that I am classic bi-polar. Unsure what to do with this so-called diagnosis, I dumped him immediately. I realize now, there's a very good chance he was 100% correct. In a fit of depression, anxiety and sadness, I have incapacitated myself straight into migraineville. Additionally, more evidence that I am losing my mind is abundant.

Let's start with the UFO sightings, shall we? I was walking down 6th Avenue about 3 weeks back when I looked up at the sky. I had just left work and found it to be an unusually starry night. I was on the corner of 53rd and 6th when I look up to see these dots zipping through the sky. I recognized them as the "classic" UFO from all of the documentaries. Sure enough, it must have been UFO week on Discovery so I watched one of the shows and the UFO's were just like the ones I had seen.


More evidence i'm losing my mind: I've been having awful nightmares about the end of the world. I find myself in such an awful state when I wake up in the morning that all I want to do is cry. The dreams are so vivid and real - it's very disconcerting. I haven't had one for about 2 weeks now but they were steady for a while there.

So, I'm chemically imbalanced. I'm possibly seeing things that aren't there. And I'm either a prophet or I'm cursed with very unrestful sleep. Color me a happy life!

Bad Fashion Trend:

The wedge. I apologize if I go and offend ½ my readership here but I think the wedge is just the ugliest shoe out there now. Short of the Capri pant, which actually seems to have conventional staying power, the wedge is just an eye sore. Ladies, do us all a favor and eschew these ugly ugly shoes.

yes yes, I know I havent' posted in eons. I had to go to Europe for a week for a funeral and I've been swamped with real life (as opposed to the unreal kind I was dealing with months prior). In any case, am hoping to get some good postings over the weekend. Just know that I'm alive, well, and BUSY. XXO ~ Mozo