STOP THIEF!!

Whoever the culprit is that is stealing my Wall Street Journal every morning - STOP IT! I let it slide for a while - I figured, if I'm too lazy to get my keister out of bed before 8am to pick it up off my doorstep, I deserve to have it confiscated as punishment for my lack of urgency. Plus, I was busy reading other garbage so I figured whatever... However, things have changed and the tides have turned! Whoever you are, don't think I'm not on to your little scheme - I know you pick this paper up sometime after 8:05... My eyes will be peeled for you waiting for the bus reading MY crisp copy of the news. If I find you, I will snatch the paper out of your grubby hands and beat you with it. Have a HAPPY FRIDAY!