HEARD AT WORK

This is an actual conversation that took place today:

Boss: Did you get hit in the face?

Me: Um... no. You can't ask me that!

Boss: (stares at my face)

Boss: You got hit in the face!

Me: I SO did NOT get hit in the face

Me: (begins touching face)

Boss: Who hit you in the face?

Me: Nobody hit me in the face! I had a date last night, he was very nice and he didn't hit me in the face.

Boss: Hmm, well, it looks like you got hit in your eye. Or maybe you just walked into a door. That's what people say when they got hit in the face. Did you walk into a door?

Me: No, I didn't walk into a door, I didn't get hit in the face, and I don't LOOK like I got hit in the face.

Boss: (stares at my face some more)

Me: If you're not careful, I'm going to hit YOU in the face.

Boss: You would not. I know you. You are not violent.

Me: I know

Boss: There have been times when I have wanted to hit you in the face though...

Me: That's so nice! The feeling is mutual.

Me: I'm going to go spend the next half hour in the bathroom primping and making my face look like it didn't get hit. As a consequence, I'm NOT going to get to your money wires, faxes and travel arrangements as I'll be reapplying my make-up in the ladies. See ya!

Boss: (puts head in hands and shakes head)

For the record: I don't look like I got hit in the face. I just get dark circles under my eyes sometimes...