ASH FRIDAY!!
Have I got quite the weekend in store!
My 10 year high school reunion starts tomorrow! I cannot believe it’s been 10 years… On the one hand, it seems like only 2 weeks ago that I was running through the hallways hours before graduation shoving my yearbook in friends and faculty’s faces to sign. On the other hand, 10 years worth of time has transpired and frankly, I’m just not the naïve I’m gonna conquer the world girl I once was. Now, it feels like a major accomplishment is my apartment is tidy and I get to the gym 4x per week. In honor of this weekend’s festivities, I would like to play a little game of then-and-now.
1996 : I bleached my hair blond and wanted to look like Pamela Anderson 2006: I’m lucky if I make it to work with washed tresses not looking like Joan Rivers
1996: I rode my Giant red mountain bike to school
2006: I ride the D train into Manhattan
1996: My laugh could be heard throughout the cafeteria
2006: My laugh can be heard all through the trading floor
1996: I had dreams of living in the Big City
2006: I live in the Big City
1996: I couldn’t jog without my walk-man (yes, WALKman, not DISCman)
2006: I can’t leave the apartment without my IPOD
1996: I spent my money on clothes and beers
2006: I spend my money on dinners and beers
1996: Everyone looked forward to the dance
2006: Everyone looks forward to the company party
1996: Warm, home-cooked meals with salad
2006: Warmed Campbell’s chunky soup and chips
1996: Passing notes during Mr. Pontz’s English class
2006: Sending blackberry messages during meetings
1996: I got so tan that it looked as though I changed race.
2006: My skincare doc lauded me for staying out of the sun
1996: I was a US national who had never lived in her own country
2006: 10 years and counting…
1996: Spice Girls
2006: Spice Market
1996: E-mail
2006: Gmail
1996: I have no cavities
2006: I have no cavities
1996: The majority of my favorite people went to my highschool
2006: The majority of my favorite people went to my highschool
To all ASH alumni and faculty – you have helped shape the person I have become and continue to be. Congratulations on the last 10 years – we’ve come a long way! I look forward to seeing those of you who can make the reunion and will have a beer in honor of those who cannot. It’s going to be a rich weekend!
Headphones As The New Dating Armor
I continue to realize and be entertained by the immaturity of people around me. Now, before I continue, I’m not taking myself out of the equation here. I have been known to throw a tantrum reminiscent of my 6th year of life but we’re not talking about me right now. I have recently encountered more obnoxious behavior on the part of the less fair sex. Where shall I begin?
Is it customary when having drinks and appetizers at an upscale New York establishment to give your female companion a wet-willie? Yes, we’re talking insertion of tongue into ear. Earlingus. Is it also standard practice to lean your face down to the plate with your hands behind your back and grab the calamari with your mouth? I don’t know – I’m just asking.
It gets better:
This next story is slightly more subtle but obnoxious nonetheless. After leaving Earlingus Man and walking to my next destination on 6th Avenue, I was accosted by a hot-dog vendor. Allow me to set the scene. There is a hot-dog vendor on the corner of 54th and 6th Ave who sold me a dog once. Ever since then, whenever he sees me, he waves to me. I give him the obligatory wave back. Now, he’s a little bit annoying because he’s mildly lecherous. So, after drying my moist ear, I was in no mood to wave to anyone. I was jamming away to my Ipod (ears safely guarded with headphones). He proceeds to abandon his hot dog stand and push away several people to grab my arm to say hello to me. I’m like, Dude – are you for real? Who knows, maybe business is slow…
This final story is really about a lack of savvy more than anything else.
While I was enjoying a beverage with EarLingus Man (pre moist ear), I received a text message from a guy asking me if I wanted to “get a drink*.” I replied that that would be lovely and gave my location. I asked him to come meet me in midtown as I had late dinner plans with friends in the area. He proceeds to write – “I was thinking in your neighborhood a bit later.” This guy lives in QUEENS. I live in BROOKLYN. There is NO reason he would want to have drinks in my neighborhood – save for ONE I can think of. Everyone with me? Good. So HELLO??? Not savvy. Since when is it ok to be that transparent?
*Yes, my star is on the rise. Everyone wants a piece of the Moze.
Best Week Ever:
I am going to start posting a regular column at the end of every week, a la the VH1 show Best Week Ever. Similar to the show, I will be describing personal haps, peeps, and (most likely) eats, that rocked Mozo’s world throughout. ENJOY!
My friend Weenie – who extended an olive branch by uttering the following statement: “I am not Hezbollah over here.” Thanks for clearing that up, Weenie. I had my doubts there for a brief moment.
The Jewish Circumcision Bris Ceremony – attended my first one of these this morning for a friend. Very eye-opening and ear splitting depending where you sit. I had never attended an event like this before. They perform the circumcision right there in the synagogue and then, after, everyone has coffee and breakfast. For more on this ceremony, click here.
Coke Zero – Catherine has given this latest low-cal coke product the thumbs-up and now, after having consumed serious amounts, I am doing the same. Seriously, I’ve had enough caffeine this week to kill a dog.
Udon Noodle Soup – this shit is the bomb (see above)! If you’ve never tried it, get out there and order some of this immediately. It will set you free...
Con Edision – ok, you’ve actually had the WORST week ever. I know several people who are still without electricity. Brutal.
Just curious....
Is anyone else besides me very excited for Snakes on a Plane??
Don't Underestimate the Power of OK
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:I recently engaged in an e-mail exchange with a juvenile individual who needed attention and validation from me. Apparently he was feeling neglected and expressed as much to me in a terse e-mail. Having adapted my new perspective of – Think Less: Do More (see below) – I communicated my displeasure at his selfish demand for my attention and implied that he buzz off. I should have never chosen to engage as doing so set off a chain reaction of emails that never needed to be exchanged in the first place. I kept thinking to myself, What? How old are we? I could FEEL myself sinking to a level of immaturity rarely achieved without copious amounts of drinking. Needless to say, this was an entirely sober exchange. Emails ceded after I realized what I was doing. This exchange illustrated an important point: There are a lot of immature people out there. Don’t underestimate the Power of OK. Just nod, smile, say “OK,” and then remove yourself from the situation. Any other course of action will only prove disastrous and make you look as bad as the instigator.
Do It! Do it!
I have come to the recent realization that I am full of a lot of hot air. No, not like the Hindenburg. But instead, I consider myself a lot of talk and very little action. I am putting a stop to this self destructive behavior right now. I am putting my money where my mouth is, taking the bull by the horns, and actually living my life instead of doing any of the following:
Fretting
Mulling
Worrying
Thinking
Over thinking
Thinking it over
Pondering
Simmering
And or Stewing
With the time freed up from NOT doing these things – I will actually have time to live and enjoy my life instead. A worry-holic I am, no more. Gone are the days of “taking things under consideration or advisement.” Instead, I’m going to live my life as a Nike advertisement and abide by the words – Just Do It.
Things That Have Mozo In A Frenzy This Week:
Baby Corn – this is miniature version of the bigger, more popular veggie absorbs the flavor of whatever it’s sitting in. In my case, it’s balsamic vinaigrette which makes it mighty tasty. It’s also more portable than it’s larger cousin. Plus, I feel butch when I can eat the whole thing, cob and all. Finally, mini things are just really cool.
I Love The ‘70’s Volume II – much more clever than Volume 1. Having not been a flower-child, I found vol 1 to be a bit irrelevant to me (the primary demographic for the I Love The Insert Decade Here). However, this round has wittier commentary and more pop culture references I can relate to such as Burt Reynold’s mustache.
Saleem and Manjeet - my two Canadian friends who each ate a bucket of KFC today. Has the psyllium husk kicked in yet guys?
David Hasselhoff – just because…. There are too many reasons to mention. Oh, ok, here are a few: He is responsible for ending the cold war. He survived a falling chandelier. And his car talks to him. Talk about a model of SuperHumanStrength.
Podcasts – call me a little slow on the uptake here. I’ve KNOWN what they are for a while… but after recently being reprimanded by not having any on my ipod by Xtina Warrior Princes, I decided to get on-board. I downloaded my first round of podcasts this morning and listened to them while in the shower. I feel so up-to-the-minute.
My Cactus – which has made itself known to be a boy. I will insert picture at a future date. Use your imagination in the interim.
My previous boss – it’s nice to be reunited for a short time. I rather enjoy the slinging of insults back and forth.
SOCCER PICS -Fun had by all
HEARD AT WORK
This is an actual conversation that took place today:
Boss: Did you get hit in the face?
Me: Um... no. You can't ask me that!
Boss: (stares at my face)
Boss: You got hit in the face!
Me: I SO did NOT get hit in the face
Me: (begins touching face)
Boss: Who hit you in the face?
Me: Nobody hit me in the face! I had a date last night, he was very nice and he didn't hit me in the face.
Boss: Hmm, well, it looks like you got hit in your eye. Or maybe you just walked into a door. That's what people say when they got hit in the face. Did you walk into a door?
Me: No, I didn't walk into a door, I didn't get hit in the face, and I don't LOOK like I got hit in the face.
Boss: (stares at my face some more)
Me: If you're not careful, I'm going to hit YOU in the face.
Boss: You would not. I know you. You are not violent.
Me: I know
Boss: There have been times when I have wanted to hit you in the face though...
Me: That's so nice! The feeling is mutual.
Me: I'm going to go spend the next half hour in the bathroom primping and making my face look like it didn't get hit. As a consequence, I'm NOT going to get to your money wires, faxes and travel arrangements as I'll be reapplying my make-up in the ladies. See ya!
Boss: (puts head in hands and shakes head)
For the record: I don't look like I got hit in the face. I just get dark circles under my eyes sometimes...
MINDSTREAM
I have absoultely nothing to write about so we're going to play a little game of mindstream. Here's how it works. I start writing about something and just keep going and going until either I figure you won't want to read anymore, or I get tired of writing. Ok, ready, set, GO:I'm eating chicken lo mein for lunch today - I've been eating it slowly so it's been sitting on my desk for the past 2 and 1/2 hours. It's supposed to be extra-extra spicy but really it's just kind of spicy. Restaurants are always so hesitant to make things really spicy. This kind of annoys me because if a person adds an extra EXTRA to their spicy SPICY, one would think that we are very sure of our desire for spicy. But perhaps it's hesitation on the order-taker's part. THEY themselves are not comfortable with their level of spicy and project that uncertainty onto YOU and YOUR order. This is just wrong and I strongly encourage you order-takers to quit projecting your insecurities onto the rest of us. In other news, I competed in a soccer tourney last week. Fun times - I'll post some pics.Las Vegas was my most recent vacation destination. I'll put some pics of up that later. Highlights included me mounting a statue, staying at the HOOTERS hotel, and staying up for 24 hours straight drinking copious amounts of booze and partying heavily.
