I HAVE AN IDEA!

So, I was en route to my casa last night, and I thought, you know, PDiddy made those Making The Band fools WALK from Mid-town to Brooklyn as a sort of pilgrimage to this place - so I had to see what all the hype was about. So as we were on Flatbush, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to stop outside JUNIORS cheesecakery, and get a slice for myself AND my cab driver*

* I figure this should also win me back some Karma points for stiffing that cab driver earlier this month.

MAN CANNOT LIVE BY FLU SHOT ALONE...

I always thought the flu shot was garbage... Now I have a good reason for not getting it. I mean, if you have a crappy immune system, ten flu shots aren't going to keep you from getting sick. But THIS is unbelievable... I guess even with all the money they're making Exxon-Mobil still couldn't afford to give their employees REAL flu shots...

MOM JEANS

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be judgemental... Ok, who am I kidding, yeah I am. But I've noticed some lapses in fashion judgement lately. Ladies, it's NOT ok to where any of the following:

- acid washed jeans
- jeans that come up OVER your navel
- jeans that don't have pockets

How else do I say this? Look, even if you have an ass like J-Lo, this look isn't happening. FOR ANYONE!

MANHATTAN - THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!

Ok, first off, did anyone else notice a weird SMELL in the city last night? Something reminiscent of pancakes and eggos? It was like someone poured Mrs. Butterworths over Manhattan...

Oh Calamari... How I Love Thee... Let me count the ways...

Doesn't this look yummy?

YOU KNOW WHAT???

SNICKERS really DOES satisfy!!!
in case anyone was wondering...

Let them eat (Medium Rare) meat 3 TIMES!

I ate three sirloins in three days last week! The fun started on Thursday night when I went to this little Meditarranean joint (my favorite restaurant actually) Virage. I ordred the steak frites and chowed down. In addition, not steak frites meal is complete without several glasses of red wine and an Irish coffee to top it off. That was night one.

Night two: Off to Ben Bensons for a friends birthday feast. I ordered the 16oz sirloin and no sirloin can stand alone. So of course, I ordered the fries to go along with. Once again, several glasses of red wine and then topped off with an irish coffee.

Night Three: A wonderful friend of mine, wanted to go to a joint w/lots of men. Naturally, we picked Angelo Maxies, a steak place in the Union Square area. I thought about ordering pasta and salad, but then decided –what the hell – three time’s a charm – so I ordered – you guessed it – a sirloin but to mix it up, I ordered spinach instead. And again, topped it all off w/a couple glasses of red wine and of course – an Irish coffee…

Does life REALLY get any better than this????

DEEP THOUGHTS

Sometimes I squeeze KOBE soooo HARD that he squeeks... like a toy.

Congratulations JOZO!

An aunt of mine -we'll call her JOZO - has recently come out on the positive end of her illness! Yay for her! Here's to a very speedy recovery!!!

Kobe Is Getting Fat!

Is it just me? I think Kobe may be sneaking food... I don't know from where... perhaps he orders take-out when I'm at work... But take a look - do you think he's getting a little tubby?

Here Lies Mozo...

Here lies Mozo. It was made public that early this morning 10/14, Mozo lost her battle with a bag of cheetos. This, in addition to losing her wallet, which was fortunately found only minutes before her untimely demise - however, not before traveling all the way to Brooklyn and realizing that the wallet was missing and having to parlay this to one VERY unhappy cab driver. Around the seventh hour of the day, Mozo has awoken - and from the looks of it outside, similar to a groundhog in February or one very embarresed ostrich, she has stuck her head BACK under the covers and decided to take the day off. Unfortunately, not having my wallet OR MY PAPER!!! GRRRRRR.... I cannot get a bacon, egg and cheese unless I pay with spare change. Although, going back to my all liquid thing, I will most likely buy an Odwalla Superfood - the green kind. This should get me at least somewhat right again. In an oddly prophetic gesture, I bought a bottle of seltzer water the other day which has been very useful to me with my upset tummy from the cheetos*. However, after having lost my cheetos at approximately 6:30 this morning, I am feeling like a million dollars and will probably spend the day with Kurtje as he is leaving soon and has my wallet. I think tomorrow, Noah is going to float his cruise ship down the East River and start collecting the animals. No lie, this city is begining to take on a very Day After Tomorrow gloom. I believe this may be why New Yorkers have upped their dosage of Xanax/Paxil/Wellbutrin/younameit since the sun hasn't made an appearance in about a week. For the select few not on Xanax, there are always pints of fresh imported Belgian Stella, fatty, cheesy mexican food, and cheetos to make you right again. As for me, after shaking the reminants of last night from my head, I may spend the day as a tourist in NYC and do something fun like walk around Central Park or go see a movie .. something I haven't done in about a year. As someone very wise said to me yesterday, I'm young, I'm in New York City, and the world is my Oyster... Let's see what pearls this city yields for me today... But I'll attack that right after a nap.

* and chicken echiladas, and a pitcher of margaritas, and two-for-one pints of Stella Artois, and a couple cigarettes...

Where The Down Boys Go...

I have some pretty weird music playing around in my head. It's from a time when I was young, innocent, and even more naive than I am now. It's Warrant's Down Boy's from Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinken Rich. I just inhaled a toasted bagel w/lox, lite cream cheese, onion and tomato. That's a little round of heaven right there, let me tell ya! Ok, so I'm eating normal food in the mornings but still only doing liquids at night. This is working out pretty fine for me. I got caught up in a vicious struggle with a bag of cheese puffs last night. They gave a pretty good fight but I won in the end. Now my fingers smell like onions... So, I have a little helpful tidbit for all you - If you've been cutting, eating, slicing, dicing or in any way dealing with onions, the most effective way to get your hands to NOT smell like onions is to wash them in luke-warm water while running them over a stainless steel object (a spoon works best). Which makes me wonder... if I sucked on a spoon for a while, would my onion breath go away? Hmm...

Movie Quote for the Day!! Guess what movie this is from. Incidently, it's also one of my favorite movies. Whoever guesses correctly, gets a drink - on me.

I must preface by saying that you should imagine that this is said by a male who is somewhat drunk, and frustrated.

"Thank you for playing - do we or do we NOT follow the ADVICE of the gallactically STUPID!!!"

This has to be my most favorite movie quote of ALL time! Whenever I see it, I always laugh.

So I have Big News!!! I'm gong to Per Se!! Possibly one of the best restaurants in NYC!! My guess, the Down Boys will NOT being attending Per Se. I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait!

Deep Thoughts

(I may be uninspired but check out this great handbag I just bought! It's a rich, chocolate suede and it's SO fall!! It's SO now!!)


OK - I thought I'd blog a little. I don't really have anything of value to say (as I'm still uninspired) so I'm just gonna write whatever comes out... I had a rather uneventful weekend which consisted of not moving from my couch. My blackberry is not syncing properly b/c I think there is something amis w/the connection to my computer. In order to rectify this, I have to get on my hands and knees and go under my desk and jiggle that wire around... Well, considering that I'm wearing a skirt, I'm not really in the mood to do that... There are a lot of things I"m not realy in the mood to do... So I LOVE the temperature in NYC now, but I'm hating this lack of sunlight... They need to bring back nap time. Someone is eating chinese food and it smells really good. I want to steal their food away from them but alas, I cannot. I'm on a smoothie fast for a week... I'm drinking wheatgrass and smoothies all week in addition to oatmeal for breakfast. It's time to jumpstart my diet. This diet includes unlimited amounts of coffee, diet coke and cigarettes as I will need the stimulants in order to function like a regular human being. Maybe I need to head over to Starbux... Perhaps I'll find something there to perk me up.

HELP!!

I'm uninspired of late... I don't seem to have a whole lot to post. I'm reading a new book now, it's the next big thing from Lauren Weisberger of the Devil Wears Prada fame. I can't stop reading it - Everyone Worth Knowing. I think perhaps b/c it speaks to young female New Yorkers trying to get their personal and professional lives together and finding it a very difficult balance. So, supposedly, they are going to blow up the subways today, so I think perhaps I'll stay home and go into Manhattan tomorrow. I'm watching this rather prophetic movie The Siege. I always liked this movie, long before 9/11. My roommate's houseguests finally left. A whole 15 days of having houseguests has left me clamoring for the ability to walk around my apartment in my underwear singing along to awful 80's music at the top of my lungs... Perhaps the next night my roommate stays @ her boyfriend's house, I will get such an opportunity. It's nice and cool today and I'm finally feeling like my old self... Being one of those excessively hot people (read: warm not "hot" - although feel free to think what you will), I'm so happy I can finally exist in a climate that allows for my physical well-being. I need something to eat... I went to the local bodega to pick up my latte and some other sundries, and when I went to pay, I forgot that they don't take debit cards. As I didn't have any cash on me, the owner was nice enough to let me pay him back tomorrow. I love that about this borough - as big as it is, my neighborhood still has this "small town feel." My hair feels soft today. If I have time to blow it out, it actually feels normal... Otherwise, it's this unruly mess that falls somewhere between curly and straight.

Mmmm, nothing like leftover Saturday night pizza for Sunday brunch...I'm happy to report that NOT only did I get my Saturday Wall Street Journal, but I actually got it today! I had to call the WSJ 800 number to tell them to HIDE my paper because, as you all know, it keeps getting stolen! So, it remained hidden, right in the secret hiding space where only I could find it. Needless to say, it was quite the treat. I have yet to bust that puppy open but will probably do so either A) before I take my nap or B) before I go to sleep tonight. It's 1pm and I have the entire Sunday in front of me... What shall I do with all this time?

My Little Starbucks Adventure

So, I wandered into relative unknown territory today... I went to Starbucks! Now, I'm not a big fan of the Bux for a variety of reasons... One being, I think it's retarted to pay $5 for a cup of coffee. I don't care if it has plutonium droplets or angel piss in it - no coffee is worth five dollars. In addition, I'm not even such a big fan of their coffee. As stated in a previous post, some of you know that I drink instant (gasp!). My morning cup of Folgers can rival that coffee house sludge any day. However, all that aside, I discovered the draw to this odd place. Starbucks has to be one of the largest untapped pick-up joints in the city! My first indicator was walking in and having like, 3 dudes check me out! I don't even look all that exceptional today... Ever the astute observer of human behavior, I began looking around and realized that both the males and females were engaging in various eye-games rivaling that of any NY watering hole on a Saturday night (sans the slutty outfits for women and the stripey's for men). That's when it hit me, if you want to find a date - look no further than your local coffee house. Granted, you won't get the guy coming up to you slurring his words proposing you and he go back to his diggs for a heated game of chess - instead, you find the guy who's all cracked out on 7 Chai Lattes asking if he can "borrow your cell" since he's in a dead-zone, blah blah blah... and that's how it starts... So, go to Starbucks, get your coffee on and who knows.... maybe the only thing grinding at Starbucks won't be your coffee beans...

For The Surliest Service In Town

If you are feeling masochistic, visit PJ Carney's. Touted as New York's "Friendlest Irish Pub..." Yeah... Not so much. The bartenders here are the rudest, intolerable, bitchy girls I have ever encountered... While I wasn't paying, had I been, I doubt I would have even tipped 10%.

DRUNK PUMPKINS!!!

A Labyrinth of Corn

I've always thought this was awesome.... It's the Amazing Maize Maze! It's a maze made entirely of maize! How cool is that!? But don't talk to me about it unless you want an earful... haa hah ha haaa!

Melting Clocks...

Excuse me... Can this day go by ANY slower?????????

HA HAH! Look at this poor sap!

Check out what happened to Bookernyc!

Celebrity Sighting! Mr. Big

Sighted last night on 9th Ave circa Hell's Kitchen- Chris Noth from Sex and The City and Law and Order fame. He and some buddies just looking for a place to get some grub.

WEEDS

I have Showtime on Demand and I watched every single episode of this amazing show yesterday. This show is genius! It follows a widow through the fictional town of Agrestic, CA trying to keep her life together after her husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. How does she do this? By selling weed. In order to maintain her lifestyle, this edgy yet suburban mother of two boys decides to enter the world of drug dealing with the help of some of her more experienced drug dealing friends. This show is witty, smart, and has mass appeal despite the somewhat controversial content. Weeds is a combination of witty writing and a stellar cast - including - Mary Louise Parker, Elisabeth Perkins, Kevin Nealon, Justin Kirk, and other accomplished actors.

BLOGGER UPDATE

JUST FYI - IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE READING HEADERS OR TEXT, MOVE THE PAGE UP AND DOWN OR RUN YOUR MOUSE OVER THE TEXT. I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS BUT IT'S SOMETHING WITH BLOGGER.

BACK in Business

So, as some of you know, I have been suffering from excruciating lower back pain to the point of having spasms as I walk down the street. This has been going on for about 1 1/2 months. When I had the opportunity to meet with a specialist, I jumped at the chance. Well, she stretched me out and cracked everything back into perfection. I have to say, I feel like a new woman. Apparently, I was storing a lot of tension in my SACRUM. Isn't that a sexy word? Sacrum.

I Bop - U Bop

I don't want to double-blog, so read here what I did on Saturday night.

Checking Out

I was busy reading my Wall Street Journal this morning on the subway en route to work when I noticed something - a crazy man was standing right next to me. Now, you may be wondering how I knew this man was crazy... Well, there are certain indicators that I use to determine if someone has checked out:

1) talking or singing out loud to nobody in particular
2) throwing objects such as garbage or food for no apparent reason
3) swearing profusely, again for no apparent reason
4) urinating or defecating in public

There are other signs that allude to one being Nutty - but I think these are enough for now.
- so this guy was singing to himself, quite loudly - and did not appear to have earbuds in. He was just bopping along to the beat of his own drum... I realized, quite clearly, that this guy has handed in his key-card and checked out of the hotel California for good. At this point, I decided to look at the other patrons of the subway to consider their reactions to this crazy individual (I need to go on a tangent here and just mention that at least this guy was HAPPY crazy... He's not angry crazy or hyper crazy... He's just as happy as a clam in his own happy little world. If I had to check-out, this is the route I would take. Happy crazy DEFINITLY beats angry crazy or sad crazy...). All the other subway patrons did not even seem to notice this happy, crazy man. In fact, they had the look of zombies... Something akin to 28 Days Later, which incidently, is NOT the sequel to the movie where Sandra Bullock plays (quite convincingly) an alcoholic. It was then and there that i realized, that all of these other individuals are one incident away from singing on the subway themselves. It seems as though everyone in New York City is one bad day away from checking out and having a complete and utter meltdown. No wonder alcoholism is so rampant in this city...

My recommendations to bring if you decide to check-out:

1) travel light and leave the baggage behind. If you plan on going off to the happy land of crazy, why bring all your baggage with you? Just perhaps a prescription and the phone number of a good shrink for whenever you're ready to check back in
2) a jacket- hey, it gets cold out there in the big bad world
3) a metro card. If you're going to check out, you're gonna wanna sing on the subway. I recommend the 30 day unlimited pass
4) don't tell anyone you are checking out. Instead, spook them on the street when they happen by. It's more fun that way.
5) A pen and paper. If you're completely checked out, you won't have the capacity to blog your experiences, but I still recommend keeping some kind of journal.
6) Finally, bring a cat. Everybody needs a travel companion.

Back In The USSR!!!

Ok, I don't think I had the chance to write about this earlier - but I did something phenomenal on Friday. I had the chance to see Paul McCartney at Madison Square Garden!!! It was SO amazing! Thanks to a girlfriend I work with, I got to see this beautiful and talented former Beatle in concert. We actually had better seats than his wife - Heather Mills McCartney, who was sitting right behind us. Paul sang all of his greats - Blackbird, Hey Jude, Back in the USSR, I Will. It was spectacular, and I will never forget it. He is as vibrant as ever - and a real ham. Who knew?? He's still enjoying himself and rocking out as he was thirty/forty years ago. An unforgettable night.

Remember Reading Rainbow? It's sort of like that...

I have a problem... I can't seem to finish a book to save my life...I'm currently in the middle of 4 different books right now, and this is just fiction. I need your help to determine which one of these I should finish first. Or, if you want, leave spoilers in the Comments section - that way I don't have to finish them. I'm reading the following:

Eldest - a continuation of the coming of age tale of a boy and his dragon Saphira
Trading Up - written by the creator of Sex And The City - a story about a looney model in NYC
Coma -this scares the crap out of me, and is holding my attention above all the rest. A medical thriller about people suffering brain death after going in for routine surgeries to never wake from their anethesia.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - this one just hits too close to home at the moment and had to be put down.

Port Salut - Poor Me

As I sit here on my couch, eating my eclectic mix of dinner foods, I find myself reminiscing about this weekend and wondering what the following week holds for Mozo... Before I describe my weekend, I would like to describe what I'm eating for dinner. I've been told by Moops when I used to live with her that I eat like a college student. I think I still do... However, today, I made my way over to the health food store to try and mix it up a bit. So here's what's for dinner:

Port Salute - this is actually melting as I'm typing... This buttery, creamy cheese is absolutely delicious and perfectly spreadable on a round of fresh
White Sour Dough - this ain't no Wonder Bread!
In addition to the Port Salut, I had to go with a harder cheese from my home country of course so
Holland Gouda to go with the Port. This is a saltier, more solid cheese that is complimented by the
Grapes and Raspberries - that I have to say both lack flare... They must be out of season I guess.
In addition, I felt the need to get my greens in by drinking an Odwalla Superfood - Micronutrient drink. It may be green but this shit tastes like B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
Finally, for dessert, I top it all off with a couple squares of Ritter Sport milk chocolate with almonds. All in all, a perfect Sunday dinner. It's worth noting that I didn't change out of my pj's all day... Now, I say this not because I'm proud of this fact. I think it might be a cry for help. I was wearing the blue pj pants that have white little polar bears on them. Does this make me one of those crazy people walking around New York City? Granted, I was sporting sunglasses as I walked to the store... One would think this might make me look edgy and cool - not crazy and homeless. But then again, who knows... too many crazy, homeless, pj wearing individuals in NYC to distinguish.